> >
> > 1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
> >
> > 2. You haven't played patience with real cards in years.
> >
> > 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
> >    three.
> >
> > 4. You e-mail your work colleague at the desk next to you to
> >    ask "Do you fancy going down the pub?" and they reply "Yeah,
> >    give me five minutes".
> >
> > 5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South
> >    America, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor
> > yet this year.
> >
> > 6. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date.
> >
> > 7. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that
> >    they do not have e-mail addresses.
> >
> > 8. You consider Royal Mail painfully slow or call it "snail
> >    mail".
> >
> > 9. Your idea of being organised is multiple coloured post-it
> >    notes.
> >
> > 10. You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
> >
> >
> > 11. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer
> >    the phone in a business manner.
> >
> > 12. When you make phonecalls from home, you accidentally insert
> >    a "9" to get an outside line.
> >
> > 13. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for
> >    three different companies.
> >
> > 14. Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
> >
> > 15. Your CV is on a diskette in your pocket.
> >
> > 16. You really get excited about a 1.7% pay rise.
> >
> > 17. You learn about your redundancy on the 9 o'clock news.
> >
> > 18 Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose all
> >      your best jokes.
> >
> >  19. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
> >
> > 20. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely
> >    to get long-service awards.
> >
> > 21. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World
> >    countries annual budgets combined.
> >
> > 22. It's dark when you drive to and from work, even in the
> >    summer.
> >
> > 23. You know exactly how many days you've got left until you
> >    retire.
> >
> > 24. Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or
> >     experience, terminate the interview when told of the
> > starting salary.
> >
> > 25. You see a good looking, smart person and you know it must
> >    be a visitor.
> >
> > 26. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
> >
> > 27. The work experience person gets a brand-new
> >    state-of-the-art laptop  with all the features, while you
> > have time to go for lunch while yours powers up.
> >
> > 28. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in
> >    hospital.
> >
> > 29 You're already late on the assignment you just got.
> >
> > 30 There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff
> >    your department is short of, but they can afford four
> > full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
> >
> > 31. Your boss's favourite lines are:
> >      When you've got a few  minutes...
> >    Could you fit this in...?...in your spare time...when you're
> >    freed up I know you're busy but...I have an opportunity for
> >    you
> >
> > 32. Holiday is something you roll over to next year.
> >
> > 33. Every week another brown collection envelope comes round
> >    because someone you didn't know had started is leaving.
> >
> > 34. You wonder who's going to be left to put into your
> >      'leaving' collection.
> >
> > 35. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with
> >     computers".
> >
> > 36. The only reason you recognise your kids is because their
> >    pictures are on your desk.
> >
> > 37. You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
> >
> > 38. You read this entire list, kept nodding and smiling.
> >
> > 39. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to
> >    your "mates you send jokes to" e-mail group.
> >
> > 40. It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen
> >    this list already, but you can't be bothered to check so you
> >     forward it anyway.
> >