MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN THE NORTH:

NAME _________________________

NICK-NAME ____________________

GANG NAME ____________________

1. Deco has 0.5
kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Vinno for

300 quid and 90 grams to Tomo
for 90 quid a gram, what is the street value

of the rest of his hold?

2. Anto pimps
3 brassers. If the price is 40 quid a royde, how many

roydes per day must each brasser
perform to support Vinno's 500 quid a day

crack habit?

3. Whacker wants
to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for 7,000 quid,

to make a 20% profit. How
many grams of strychnine will he need?

4. Christy got
6 years for murder. He also got 350,000 for the hit. If

his common law wife spends
33,100 per month, how much money will be left

when he gets out?

Extra
Credit Bonus: How much more time will Christy get for killing

the slapper that spent his
money?

5. If an average
can of spray paint covers 22 square meters and the

average letter is 1 square
meter, how many letters can be sprayed with

eight

fluid ounce cans of spray
paint with 20% extra paint free?

6. Liamo steals
Eamo's skateboard. As Liamo skates away at a speed of

35mph,Eamo loads his brother's
armalite. If it takes Eamo 20 seconds to

load

the gun, how far will Liamo
have travelled when he gets whacked?

MATHS
TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN THE SOUTH:

NAME
___

(if longer, please continue
on separate sheet)

SCHOOL____________________

DADDY'S COMPANY___________

1. Julian smashes
up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and

killing three people. The
old man asks his local TD to intervene in the

court system, then forges
his insurance claim and receives a payment of y.

The difference between x and
y is three times the life insurance

settlementfor the three dead
people. What kind of car is Julian driving

now?

2. Chloe's personal
shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand

products for the designer
goods favoured by her employer. In the course of

a

month she saves the price
of a return ticket to Fiji and Chloe doesn't even

notice the difference. Is
she thick or what?

3. Roly fancies
the arse off a certain number of tarts, but he only has

enough Rohypnol left to render
33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 Rohypnol,

how

is he ever going to shag the
other two-thirds?

4. If Savannah
throws up four times a day for a week she can fit a size

8 Versace. If she only throws
up three times a day for two weeks, she has

to

make do with a size 10 Dolce
et Gabbana. How much does liposuction cost?

5. Alexander is
unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he

fancies women. On the other
days he fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners.

However he only has access
to the Hoover every third week. When does his

Sunday Independent column
start?