A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR

A man walks in to a bar and orders a pint.  The bar man gives him his
drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts. To his surprise, a voice comes
from the peanut bowl.

"You look great tonight!" it said, "You really look fantastic....and that
aftershave is just wonderful!"

The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it.

Realising he has no cigarettes he wanders over to the cigarette machine.
After inserting his money, another voice emits from the machine.

"You WANKER......Oh my god you STINK..........Do you know, you're almost
>as ugly as your mother."

 By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He turns to the barman for an
explanation.

"Ah yes sir," the barman responds, "The peanuts are complimentary, but the
cigarette machine is out of order."